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Monday, December 2, 2013

Handing Out Some Evictions.

Seems lately my life has been an exercise in clich├ęs. I've always been a deep, philosophical person. Complicated, and an over thinker. 

Nothing's changed.

No less than 10 times a day something will come to me… a song, a verse, a post on Facebook… And--at the risk of sounding like I'm waxing poetic--it speaks to me. It resonates.

And I get all kinds of impassioned and on fire to blog about it. To share it , because I feel like someone, somewhere could possibly be feeling the same way that I am. And maybe it will resonate with them too.

And the moment I try to sit down and write, it's like my mind slams shut. And there is a metaphorical wrestling match in my head. 

I actually argue with myself. A lot. Sometimes out loud.

But even in those times, there is a central thought or thoughts that stand out. And I'm learning to focus on those.

Little sidenote here… I have always been an anti-bath person. Just grosses me out. But lately In our new house, with a bigger tub, it's actually become a little bit of an obsession.

And I love it because I can light some candles, turn off the lights, just soak and think.

And think… And think… And think.

It's in those moments when it's quiet and the lights are down and sometimes I have Pandora playing, that I feel my best. And my heart is full, and I get so totally psyched about writing. About sharing this craziness in life. About just being with people.

Really connecting.

And it's during those times that God's voice seems so clear.

But the moment the candles go out, and the water drains, and I step back into normal life, it all goes away. And I can't hear it anymore over the noise of the world.

So my remedy to that: blogging from the tub!

There's this amazing app that I can use from my phone to blog. I can even use voice text to type for me. So any grammar or spelling errors… Blame it on auto text. Yeah, Auto text.

And nothing too weighty or brilliant tonight. Just have this feeling that it's important to say: be yourself.

Be yourself.

Don't let others or yourself or society dictate to you who you should be. You were created and designed to be someone specific and unique. 

Be that person. 

No one else can do it better. The world will be missing something crucial if you are not YOU, who you were meant to be before even one day came to be.

I struggle with that. Especially when so many are only too eager to tell you what a piece of crap you are. 

Those people who don't realize the weight their words have with you, those people who poke fun calling it a "joke", those people who know exactly what they're doing and systematically tear you down. 

To those people I say: You no longer have power over me. You are no longer permitted to rent space in my head. 

Will I still treat you well? I hope so, though it will take a true act of God to clamp my mouth shut.

Will I still love those who are so negative and cutting? Yes, but as Sandi Krakowski said today on Facebook, sometimes it's best to love some people from afar. 

Will I be more careful with my own words, taking to heart that words really can break bones, tear skin, and destroy relationships? Absolutely. 

But I'm done listening to the thunderous crowd in my head.

Done. 

From now on I'm only listening to the whisper of Truth. 

As long as I'm living in integrity with my God and myself, I cannot any longer worry and fret over what others think or who others want me to be. 

And neither should you. 

Will you metaphorically pump your fist in the air with me and say "No more!"

Let's just do this. Let's just take off our masks and the training wheels we drive around on in our lives and trust Him to protect us. To guide us. To validate us. 

Who's with me? 



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