Today was a good one.
It was almost 70 degrees and sunny (for part of the day at least.)
I got to steal away to Target BY MYSELF and buy those things that I usually avoid and feel guilty buying...a hair dryer, a curling iron, some hair do-dads, etc.
I strolled the aisles slowly, unrushed, and actually remembered every thing I went in for.
There was no yelling, threatening, scolding, fishing kids out of racks, breaking up fights in the cart, denying the one millionth plea for a toy...none of that.
Then...after I paid and shut myself in my quiet van (without buckling 400 kids in their seats) I sat. Just sat. I bought myself a guilty pleasure at the checkout: a Diet Coke and a Cadbury Egg. I sat in the parking lot and enjoyed that Egg. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh how I enjoyed it all; the egg, the drink and the silence, the lack of agenda and demands. It was nearly a Rated R moment.
It's been nice taking a few days after my last post to think about things. I started a study by Beth Moore--one of my very favorite Christian women. I always have such clarity from her studies.
Mostly what I'm hearing from God right now is to be still and listen. Listen. That's not something I always do well or willingly. Maybe I'm one of those people that doesn't like "awkward" silence. Maybe I just don't know when to take my cue to let silence happen. Or let the other person talk.
But I'm trying to learn that.
I thought talking was a challenge-especially in front of group, but--for me--being quiet is far more of a challenge. It involves patience and governing the tongue...two things I usually lack.
Instead of running at the mouth about what was bothering me in the last post, I am contemplating. I'm weighing and measuring my thoughts and motives to see what's real, what's valid, and what's legitimate.
It's kind of nice. Refreshing. It's also a total pain in the arse. Patience is not really my thing.
But, with this new way of being, I'm learning to enjoy more, and savor things...like that sweet Cadbury egg today.
Normally, I would have gulped it down, looking at the clock, afraid I was taking too long and rushing home to relieve Joe of his solo responsibilities with the kids.
This "Southern" way of living may grow on me yet.