Oh how I would love to be posting about the dresser and credenza projects I've been working on. But there are other things going on that are sapping me of my desire to DIY right now. I don't want to get into details, but we are, once again, at a crossroads of uncertainty about our future.
It's so easy to be in my own little world with my carefully thought out beliefs and ideals. I'm safe inside my suburban picket fence, looking out at everyone else from relative safety and comfort.
This past week, mine and Joe's beliefs on a few levels have been challenged and outright changed. Those people we thought we were--the people we thought were represented by checking off a box at election time--has taken an amazing about face.
The world is not black and white. There are so many gray areas. I hate the concepts of group think and assumptions, and I am learning first-hand how ignorant it can be to follow along with a set way of thinking without really digging deep to understand what it is that you believe...and why.
There is no teacher like Experience. Experience yields wisdom. I wish we could have received the Cliff's Notes version of this particular wisdom, but God seems to like to use (or needs to use) the direct approach with me as far as learning a lesson. I am not always someone who can learn from someone elses mistakes, so I often find myself in the front seat of an amazing and scary and life changing situation. Like now.
I'm sorry if you came here to read some light-hearted humor about our crazy life. How I wish I was in the frame of mind to offer that. This is one of those times when my reality can't be softened with some witty banter and funny analogies. This is the cold hard world landing on my front doorstep.
I'm embarrassed that I have for so long held to ideals and beliefs without really understanding the stance I was taking. I was the product of group think and maybe wanting to fit into a group that seemed like they had it all together. It seems a consistent theme, though, that I have to re-examine what it is I stand for and how I intend to represent myself and others. It's amazing...Christ never changes. He is who He is, yet, my perception of Him is changing all the time. Just when I think I've got it...got Him...figured out, something happens and I realize I had it all wrong.
Those who I thought were in our circle are now (seemingly) the ones to bury their heads and hope it all just goes away. Those who we would never have thought we'd stand shoulder to shoulder with (simply because we had different viewpoints or just didn't move in the same circles) are now our closest allies.
So, I am challenging myself to think about...really think about..what it is I stand for. And then back it up with my actions.
So that's where we are...it seems you never stop learning life lessons. And this one is a doozey.