This is a b***h post, be prepared. It's time to clear my mind.
I'm in the midst of week 36 of preggo world. The beauty of pregnancy thing never quite caught on this time. I've been waiting for that glow, for that magical moment when I'd smile serenely and affectionately rub my burgeoning belly while daydreaming about what the little one looks like.
I did have those beautiful moments with the other 4, although they admittedly came later and later in the game each time.
Instead, this time has been filled with stabbing round ligament pain, painful walking because the baby's head is pressing so hard on my pelvis, hemorrhoids the size of my head, one trip to the hospital for dehydration, 2 blown veins, 1 IV, 3 litres of fluid, countless needle sticks for blood work, a rhogam shot that burned like the dickens, little, tiny feet jammed in my ribs, acid reflux that wakes me up at night, snoring that sounds like a FREIGHT TRAIN (no joke, it wakes Joe and myself up), acne that doesn't seem to ever go away, and more weight gain than in ANY other pregnancy. I'm somewhat of a mess. I believe this is officially the swan song of my baby-making career.
Our 3rd was our only winter baby (so far) and she was born exactly a week before Christmas. My husband worked at a different job and was able to take the time off to be with us the first week. This time, I went through Christmas, still pregnant, and he works in the hospitality industry, so he's practically lived at the restaurant watching everyone else in the free world celebrate and have a marvelous time while the kids and I wait for him at home. Christmas Eve was no exception. He worked a 9-9 shift and got to spend an entire hour with us at his parents' house for their annual Christmas Eve gathering. Christmas day was a blur of watching the kids unwrap, heading to his sister's house for the annual Christmas day gathering and then going home to put our over-sugared, over-stimulated, over-tired kids in bed. The next day, naturally he pulled another 9-9'er since it is the biggest return day of the year, and who doesn't like to eat out while they're out shopping??
Here's where many may tune out or get all indignant about me complaining. So, to head you off, YES, we are thankful, beyond words that we are employed. We're thankful we can pay the bills, have a roof over our heads, food in the cupboards, and gas in the car. BUT...but it seems like there should be SOME kind of happy medium between living one's entire life for one's job and spending quality and quantity time with family. It's always a choice. Every day. And it seems like the family side always loses. That's not a knock on Joe. That's a knock on society and the industry who makes it nearly impossible to have any kind of quality of life with a family.
It wouldn't be so bad if there was some kind of sincere "thank you" involved. A heartfelt "Thank you for leaving your family daily, missing your kids' bedtime every night, missing school programs and soccer games, leaving your very pregnant wife at home every day to care for the children by herself..." You get the idea.
Instead, we got a box of chocolates. I guess I'd call that even.
So all that to say, I am foul at the moment. Forgive me. I apologize for including you in this rant, but it's the best I have short of actually emailing this to the owner of the company. The only reason I have NOT done that is because I don't want to embarrass Joe. It's been a tremendous struggle to hold back since all my pregnancy hormones are raging and urging me to let loose.
For now...I'll refrain.
Anyway, in closing...I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas filled with lots of family time. Here's hoping 2011 is full of pleasant surprises and changes for us and for you!