I open this with a sincere warning to all family and friends who do not want TMI of mine or Joe's more personal life to exit stage right at this moment. Don't worry...it's not about S-E-X. At least, not directly.
I mean it...the following may make you enormously uncomfortable, but since it made me cry hysterically with laughter, I had to share with all of you...er, minus my mom...and my mother-in-law...and my sister-in-law....um and anyone from my church who may find this inappropriate. Okay, you get the idea.
Still here? You're along for the ride? Okay, Welp, I warned ya...
This afternoon Joe found himself in the basement with a little extra time on his hands and the clippers staring him in the face. So, like any red blooded, hairy, Italian man, he decided the best thing to do would be to trim things up. You know *ahem* downstairs. He came back upstairs a few minutes later, all proud of himself for "cleaning things up" and proudly showed me his handy work. (Psst, Note to Joe: do not show handiwork in front of a wall of windows in our sunroom.) I oohed and ahhed for a few moments admiring his steady hand and precision skill with the clippers.
And then we went about our day.
Fast forward to this afternoon when Joe calls me from work to tell me that he may have gotten a bit "ambitious" when he cultivated his "manscaping" and could possibly have "nicked something on the undercarriage." He said, "You know that feeling when you just don't feel good and you wander around in your own little world? Well, that's where I am." He said he tried baby powder thinking that might quell the sting, but to no avail.
Anything he said after that is lost as I couldn't hear him any longer over my howling. Even as I tried to type this I had to stop for fits of hysterical laughter. Please tell me someone out there is laughing with me. I'm sure every man on the planet is cringing, protectively covering the jewels and nodding in understanding. Me? I'm doubled over. I know that may seem cold, but if you know me well, you would expect nothing less.