I love that summer is almost here. I've been able to open the windows and let the beautiful breeze in...it's so relaxing.
(*Smelly Diaper Pic compliments of Google images)
It seems like what felt like time dragging on (having 4 little kids so young and in constant need of my attention) is quickly speeding up and I am running after it begging it to slow down. R starts kindergarten this year. L is headed to preschool. E is talking more and more like a teenager every day instead of the 2 year-old she is. M pulled himself up to standing tonight and turns 1 in a mere 2 months. Enough!
It's so crazy. We are definitely leaving one phase of life and entering another. I am so freakin sentimental that it's almost killing me. I can't help it...it's just who I am. I am wrapped up in nostalgia and emotion. It seems like I spent so much of my days just making it from A to B and on to Z that I didn't really slow down and enjoy the time I had.
We are so quick to tell expectant moms to savor all the things they can do before the baby gets here, but what about the things that can only be done when the baby is young?
Like lazing the day away with a sleeping baby on your chest while you watch a movie or cuddling in bed with a newborn next to you? Oh how I miss those times.
I remember when R was born thinking that it was impossible to get anything done. I struggled to maintain the house, feed him on time, and try to look presentable when Joe got home. Now I look back at that frazzled girl and I want to laugh. Or slap her. How ridiculous! (Although, I know that your first baby is waaaaay harder than any others (at least for me) simply because there is no point of reference.
Now I realize that when R starts kindergarten I will NEVER AGAIN be the sole influence on his life. I may still be the primary influence, but there will be SO MANY MORE who will make an impression on him, and that saddens me and--if I may be so honest--scares me to death.
Granted, not ALL of my influence is stellar. For example, the other day R was playing a video game and told me the robots in his game were "friggin irritating." Not one of my prouder moments. Really have to watch what comes out of my pie hole when road rage sets in.
Yeah, yeah, I know...I need to celebrate the new phases and enjoy where I am right now instead of always looking at yesterday. I heard that lecture from Mama Bear on an episode of the Berenstain Bears the other day. BUT...to someone like myself who literally tears up at commercials, that is a monumental task.
This thing called being a mom is killing me.
Make no mistake...it is EASILY the most blessed and wonderful thing that has EVER happened to me...but I am such a mess about it sometimes!
You know that saying, "The days and hours are long, but the years are short"? Yeah.
I leave you with a little pictorial trip down memory lane. It's R through the years. Excuse my while I grab a tissue...
The day he was born
His first birthday...I had L two weeks later!
Him at age 2. I entered this in a Gap Kids photo contest. Do you believe he wasn't chosen??
Here he is at 3, already showing signs that he thinks Mommy has cooties.
Here he is last May on his birthday. He turned 4. Gosh. It's all such a blur...
Thanks for joining me on that trip.