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Saturday, April 3, 2010

Traffic Jams, Snagged Pantyhose, and Anonymous Negative Comments--All Things That Can Ruin Your Day.

I have arrived. At least that's what those in the blogosphere say when you receive a negative comment on your blog.

My day was yesterday...and (surprise!) again this morning.

The comments are about this post HERE

I deleted the first comment after talking to Joe and trying to decide how to handle it. Does anyone really like having something negative said to them? I don't think so. Does anyone really enjoy having said negative comment broadcast for the general public? Probably not. But here it is in all its splendor:

 "It's funny you "unburden" yourself onto others everytime you post a blog. How dare you! What makes you better than that girl at the checkout?? At least she did not hand you a card with her blog address on it! Sheesh! "

And then the follow-up comment this morning:

"If you can't take criticism, then you shouldn't have a website, thanks for deleting my post! Apparently you only "love" comments that are berries and sunshine, grow up!"

Does anyone like putting themselves out there to find that someone doesn't care for them or something they've said? I know I don't. And yes, it is the price you pay for having a blog. You are out there for all the world. Good or bad, for better or worse. Yesterday was my first taste of the "bad" and "worse."

And to be honest, It sucked.

Now, I'm not foolish enough to think that everyone will like me (Hardly!) I'm also not foolish enough to think that everyone will agree with my opinions. But what "got" me about the comments is that they are anonymous. And the first was in reference to comments I made in a post about a cashier at Giant Eagle.

So you disagree with me? Fine. You feel passionate enough to comment? Fantastic! But you have to hide behind the "anonymous" identity? Really? That just makes me think that you really don't feel as strongly about your opinion or you wouldn't be afraid to put your name.

As much as it stings, I really welcome feedback. I do. ( I think.) It's how I grow. It's how I check myself on things I do or say. Anyone who has read my blog knows that I tend to exaggerate and speak most things tongue-in-cheek. You would also know that my goal is to be genuine, transparent and real. Unfortunately, that also means I am flawed and it will show on my blog.

I actually paused for a minute while I was writing about the cashier because she was a nice girl and I didn't want to be hurtful about something that was obviously bothering her enough to unload on a complete stranger. But I didn't mention her name or at which Giant Eagle she worked.

I stand behind the things I say every day with my name and my face on this blog--wrong or right. I don't write on here under a random, assumed identity that doesn't link me back to what I've said or what my opinions are.

When I comment on other blogs, I always use my profile so you know who is saying what. Even when I know the writer. Even if I disagree.  

The funny thing about the anonymous commenter? This person has visited my blog many times and twice yesterday. They checked out my awards and other posts. They obviously have spent some time and energy looking over my posts and taking a peek into my life. There have been as many as 17 minutes in one sitting spent in reading on occasion. ("17 minutes?" you say. "Big deal" But, to me, in my crazy life, 17 minutes is a luxury.) So, for that, I say "thanks" for taking time out of your day to visit. I know yours is a busy life, and any time devoted to me I am grateful for. But, I'm bummed that both of us have had a bad experience from a post on my blog. Not my intention.

I have had other comments on my posts that were contradictory to how I feel, and I haven't deleted them. I deleted "Anonymous" because they felt it was necessary to comment negatively but not have to identify themselves.

So, in closing...while I don't love negative comments (in fact, I hate them for the record) I am not above reproach. I am human and will make mistakes and, in the end, I actually welcome feedback if it's valid and from a credible source. Unfortunately, the message being sent was not credible since I have no idea where it came from or the intent with which it was made. Well, actually...I DO know where it came from, but that's a dfferent story. Gotta love tracking software!

This is my blog--an online diary of sorts, and if you don't like what I'm saying, please feel free to exit your browser or click to a different site. Unfortunately for you (those who disagree with me) this is my place to vent, share, daydream, and chat, so chances are it will not match everyone's opinions all the time. This is not a forum for debate, but rather a place I come to air my thoughts. You wanna join in? GREAT! You agree with me or like what you read? Even better! You disagree? That stinks, but okay...just be brave enough to remove your mask and comment as yourself.

There. Nuff said. And that's the last time I will address it as it took way more time and energy than I should have devoted to it.

18 comments:

  1. (((((hugs to you)))))
    I LOVE your blog ;) and would never think to post a comment anywhere as anonymous. That just seems rude... I may leave a question.. or I may not comments at all if I just don't agree with something said KWIM. I don't have the time to spend being anonymous and mean on the internet.

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  2. Mama of 4...THANK YOU! Thank you! So much! I really appreciate the support!!

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  3. Amen girl! Girl if you need some RICAN back up I am available LOL.. Cowards leave no names. So has to be someone you know and that is pretty sad they would take the time to make fun of you and then read your posts.. WHAT an a$$.

    Like I always say technology makes COWARDS into LIONS. Face to face their tails would be in between their legs......

    Don't worry about it girl. She is jealous. Go on with your bad self! Woo hoo!

    LOVE your blog!

    Oh ya and what was the comment this morning LOLl I am nosey ... LOL

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  4. G-Zell: Thank you!! LOVE IT! It's nice to feel the support. I updated the post above to add the comment from this morning. =)

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  5. Wow! What a brave thing to do. Send a snotty comment and not "own" it...I am so impressed with Anonymous Comment Leaver Person.

    I adore your blog! If not for any other reason than for the "realism" in it. Real life isn't always pretty, convenient or good blog material for the masses. You manage to write about it in a "voice" that is clear and strong.

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  6. Crayon Wrangler: Thank you!! I appreciate your support and kind words! =)

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  7. You said all that Perfectly! It is your blog, your space and place to be You! I would delete something like that when they are not man or woman enough to leave their name and probably 'blog' title. Strange they seem to be stalking you though too. Very strange... hummm.
    Well, I LOVE your blog and all the post I have read so far! Because you are REAL! Following and will be back soon!
    Hugs,
    Coreen

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  8. Velvet Over Steel: THANK YOU! Really. The support has been overwhelming! Thanks for the follow! I will be by "your place" too! =)

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  9. That person is just jealous of your blog! Their blog must suck!

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  10. Thanks, Jessica! I don't even know that they have a blog. They could just be someone who creates profiles with fake names like "Mitch" so they can creep blogs, facebook, and myspace. At least they didn't cuss at me.

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  11. Okay, if you know Mandy for 4 minutes, 4 months, or 4 years, can you not TELL that she is the sweetest, most non-judgmental, Christ lovin', kind hearted, selfless woman you know? I can't get over her statement about you thinking you're better than the girl at checkout. Never once was that even insinuated?

    Also, you've ALWAYS welcomed feedback, psitive or negative. Meanwhile, there's NOTHING negative TO reply with in any of your posts??? "Berries and Sunshine"? Huh? It's not like you're bashing Political Figures, completely one-sided and not flexible on issues like breastfeeding, the environment, cloth diapers, etc. You're just part of this sorority we call blogging, and you've made so many wonderful friends that this Anonymous person wishes she had the courage to participate.

    I'm not going to say "don't worry", or "Let it roll off your back", b/c:
    A. You're a girl. NOT possible
    B. I'd want to rip someone's head off if they said that to me
    C. I, like you, am built that I can't HELP but take things personally. ALways have, always will.

    I commend you for surfacing and sharing this frustration on this Post. What a hard thing to do! B/c, your Stalker is definitely reading it and hopefully has realized she is no longer welcome here. And, if she decides to visit my site, I would not post comments that simply don't do any good for anyone. Did her mom not ever teach her (as my mom's voice still echoes in my head), "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all". Words to live by. ESPECIALLY at this stage of our life, right? I wonder what this Anonymous Blogger's middle school and high school years were like...

    She was not opening up a conducive discussion, or debate. You would even welcome that (as would I!). She was unloading her life's frustrations in your forum.

    I will pray for her... the she finds solace in other places.

    You didn't make any mistakes, Mandy. Do not let this person second guess who you are. They lack confidence and are evidently bitter at other things. Poking fun at the fact that people sometimes have no regard for your time, and that you're likely rushing is something we can ALL relate to. There was nothing malicious in your post. I just don't get it!

    Hugs to you... you're the bomb. Close up that Chapter, and now let's move on, together!

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  12. Wow. Kat...THANK YOU! Thanks for not saying "let it roll off your back" because if you REALLY know me, you KNOW that I am sensitive and take offending someone (and being offended) very personally...even if I don't agree with the person who I offended. It actually has inspired a new post about how to really "be there" for someone when they are hurt...whether or not YOU think it's worthy to be hurt over. Thanks for your support. Always. It means the world to me!!! =)

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  13. I'm SO sorry you had to go through that. I don't understand ppl who post anonymously or talk behind someones back.
    I recently had an experience on a plane with a crying baby and a man kept talking (loudly) about me but every time I looked at him he stopped...have the guts to say something to me!
    I, for one, love reading your blog! Keep up the awesome work!

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  14. Thank you, Elle! I SO appreciate your support. Someone being mean about a crying baby on a plane? I understand it's frustrating, but for pete's sake! What are you supposed to do about it? I'm sorry that guy was a jerk. And I'm sorry an alreday stressful situation was made worse by an insensitive person. Thanks for reading!

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  15. Rock ON, sister blogger! First time here and I love your writing. Straight forward, honest, and clearly spoken. I'm so glad I found you from Coloring Outside the Lines website. I'm trying to be more honest on my site. Can't wait to start following your posts.

    Have an awesome, negative comment filled week!

    ~Mimi...who always identifies herself

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  16. Mimi: HAHA! Your comment made me smile. THANK YOU! So nice to meetcha! I'm glad to have you over at "my place" and you better believe I will be swinging by yours soon too!!!!

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  17. It always amazes me what kind of people are out there. These people are worth it. Keep up with your awesome blog and forget about them!

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  18. OK, I'm caught up now. What an angry person...See here's the thing about criticism that people don't get - your words are supposed to be cloaked in grace and love. Sure you are open to criticism and you are right - that's how we grow. But Anonymous was hateful and well, angry, and it shows. My guess is that she has a bone to pick with everyone. Heck, I better watch out as she/he/it is probably on their way over to my blog to bash me next!!!

    Hang in there - you HAVE arrived!

    Natalie at Mommy on Fire
    http://www.mommyonfire.com

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I LOVE COMMENTS! Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. I appreciate what you have to say. Just remember...if you don't have something nice (or constructive) to say, don't bother. I reserve the right to remove, delete, or ignore any comments I find rude, disrespectful, derrogatory, or inflammatory.

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