Phew. If any of you have kept up with the events on this blog over the past couple of weeks, then you know that I am officially neurotic, sensitive, and neurotic. In that order.
I had the unfortunate (dis)pleasure of being, first, un-followed and then verbally b-slapped publicly all right here on this blog. All within a matter of days. Who knows, maybe it was all by the same person. *shrug*
For seasoned bloggers, this is all in a day's work. For someone like myself, who is new to blogging, who tends to wear her emotions and heart on her sleeve and works herself into a tizzy trying her darndest to make sure NO ONE'S feelings get hurt, this was troublesome.
I really thought long and hard about even discussing the whole rude commenter because I didn't want them to get any further satisfaction out of knowing they got to me. But I don't want to hide things. And I'm not made of stone. And darn it, it's my blog about my life.
I also learned some lessons along the way...
And then there were those who said, "Let it roll off your back." "Well, that's what happens when you put yourself out there..." and my personal favorite, "Then quit blogging."
Wow. Um, thanks.
Bitter much? No, not really. Maybe just a little shell shocked. But I actually have come away with some great boundaries and some decisions about my blogging that needed to be made. I just didn't know they needed to be made until all this happened.
I've learned that "bloggers" are truly the only people who "get" it. And by that I mean understand why I would be so bent out of shape about some random stranger vomitting negativity on me. This blog is like an x-ray into my thoughts. My bloggy friends and family all understand because you're putting yourselves out there every day too. You know what it's like to expose yourselves and then have someone swoop in and kick you in the teeth.
So, fellow bloggers, how do you all feel about these things? Have any of you been in a similar situation? I know a blogger in particular who was and AS SOON as I heard that someone had left a rude comment on their blog, I raced over to defend. I just realized that not everyone is like that. While some may feel bad and empathize with you, they don't want to get involved.
I never thought I would feel any kind of kinship AT ALL with people like Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, etc...Now I (sorta) do. Stop laughing at me. I'll give you that it's a flimsy analogy, but still pertinent.
Everyone is so quick to say (and myself included, at one time) that when you put yourself out there in the public, you are opening yourself up for attack, criticism, and gossip. I used to feel that way. But now I'm not so sure. Funny how things change when the shoe's on the other foot, huh? In my own defense, I hardly expected someone to get so hot under the collar about something I typed innocently, tongue-in-cheek and off the cuff. I also DEFINITELY never foresaw that anyone would say that I should expect it (which I hear as 'deserve it') and should "stop whining" (My paraphrase). Now, to be clear, NO ONE actually agreed with the rude commenter.
I just don't think it's fair to say that bloggers should expect or deserve to be treated so poorly, rudely, or disrespectfully by people simply because they blog and put their thoughts "public." Even if I put my thoughts (about a nameless cashier who gave me TMI) up on a billboard, is that really cause for personal attack? Well, I don't think so, anyway.
But those are just my thoughts. And if you're reading them and you don't agree, please don't feel it's necessary to "set me straight." Feel free to exit stage right and read no further. If you feel differently and can express that in a considerate, respectful way...by all means, I'm all ears!
But there are some changes being made around MandyPville. This is my town and I'm the sheriff. This is a dictatorship, not a democracy. If I don't like what someone says to me or how they say it, by golly I will delete. The delete key is my friend.
I also now know better who gets it and who doesn't. I won't go barking up the wrong trees anymore. It just ends up being stressful for them and me.
And for you all...I'm still your girl if you need a sympathetic ear or someone to have your back. I've always tried to be and I will continue to do so...even if it's not reciprocated.
Now, tomorrow back to the lighthearted and mundane...I think.