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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Get Real

One of my all-time favorite Casting Crowns songs is Stained Glass Masquerade. If you have never heard it, lucky for you I am going to paste the lyrics below! You've never heard of Casting Crowns? *gasp* You don't know what you're missing! click here to hear the song and see the lyrics.

Stained Glass Masquerade

Is there anyone that fails

Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

'Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong


So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them


*Chorus*


Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade


Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage


The performance is CONVINCING
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart


But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be


Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay


Chorus x2

Well if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade


Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Oh how I love this song! It really could have been written by me. (Note: when no one is around, I belt out the part after the first chorus like nobody's business! If I ever find this song on karaoke, look out!)

I got to watch a funny exchange last Sunday as I was walking through the parking lot at church. One guy was getting his two small children out of the car (I think he actually had one tucked under his arm like a football)and another was walking past with his own children. The second guy asked the first guy how he was and the first guy responded, without missing a beat, "Livin' the dream, partner." I don't know why that makes me laugh. I just laughed as I typed it. I laughed at the time, even. Out loud. Right in front of both of them. I couldn't help it. It was so obvious that it was said tongue-in-cheek.

And then I thought, don't we all do that? It doesn't have to be at church. It can be at work or school or the grocery store. It's not like we're going to (or should) launch into all of our struggles and headaches when the cashier asks us how we're doing, but sometimes I take it a step further and offer a huge smile with a hearty, "great!" Meanwhile, 5 aisles ago I was threatening E's very life if she threw her bottle out of the cart ONE MORE TIME, worrying I wouldn't have enough money to get all the groceries I need while simultaneously counting down the days until the next payday AND mentally tallying all the bills that still need paid.


So, no, I'm not "great." Yes, in the grand scheme of things I'm good-maybe even terrific because our family is healthy and we have our basic needs met, but why do I always feel like I have to pretend. Why do I feel obligated to put my best foot forward-even with close friends and family? I'm not talking about unleashing on my sister when she asks how my day's going, but to give myself the freedom to be real with those I trust; with those who are supposed to be there as support.

Our church family should be those people as well. Those people who support and encourage whether it's physical, spiritual or emotional struggles we face. Instead, it's sad, but all too often Christians shoot their wounded.

I've said it before and I will continue to say it because I want it to be second nature for me...I just want to be real.  I want others around me to be real. I want to make others comfortable enough to be real.

I've been met with mixed reviews about this blog. I actually had some anxiety about writing today because I know some people just don't "get" it.

I agree that my way of thinking or the level of sharing I do may be an acquired taste. Some just don't understand why I am making these random thoughts so public. First of all...it's terrifying...second of all...I don't completely know why!!! It just evolved from my blogging about the reading I was doing in Matthew to this. Whatever this is.

For those of you who have told me you enjoy the blog. Thank you so much. For those who don't enjoy it; Why are you still reading? Ah ha! Caught you!

Most importantly...Christ was real. There was no pretense with Him. What you saw is what you got.

I want to be that person. I want there to be no guessing if my character is gunuine or not. Won't you join me??? It's not easy, but I think it's so worth it in the end. We aren't perfect (And who am I kidding, I couldn't be further from it) but I also don't want to pretend to be anything other than what I am, what God made me to be.

Thank you for reading!
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