Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Goodbye 2009

When I was a teenager, I used to keep a diary. Every New Year's I would write "Goodbye, 19XX, hello 19XX..." I don't know why that has stayed with me or seems somehow significant right now.

For some reason I am waxing nostalgia today. Maybe since I took the decorations down from Christmas. I started a few days ago and have been taking them down slowly but surely ever since. Today it was time for the tree. I wrestled that @#$%* into its box, arms and legs akimbo, and fought the bulging, disintegrating sides of the box closed with ropes. It was a close fight, but I won. I have the war wounds to prove it; a gash and some scratches on my arm. It would probably have been a little easier if my boys weren't driving their remote control Spiderman motorcycles into my feet the whole time, but not nearly as interesting (for them.)

One funny thing about Christmas that my sister wants me to share is the story about Santa and my middle son, Liam. This year was exciting because Rocco (4 yrs) and Liam (3 yrs) are old enough to ask for things and then anticipate them from Santa. We made letters, phone calls to the North Pole, the whole nine. Well, I had never thought about the idea of Santa coming into the house while they are sleeping being a scary one to a little boy. I don't know why the thought never crossed my mind. Christmas Eve, I-- I mean, Santa-- had the great idea to put the boys 2 1/2 feet tall stuffed Spiderman dolls in bed with them so that they would wake up with them Christmas morning.

Christmas morning at about 6 am, I heard Liam stumble out into the hallway -where there is some light. I knew he was probably examining this surprise to see what it was. I waited with a little knowing smile and tapped Joe to let him know Liam was in the hallway. He finally came into our room and our conversation went like this:

Liam: "Mom, Dad, look!"
Me, playing dumb: "What?"
Liam: "Look!"
Me: "What do you have?"
And he just kept saying "this!"

Me: "Oh, Santa must have been here and put that in your bed. I bet there's more presents downstairs! Let's go see. Do you have to pee first?"

Liam: "Yes, but I'm afraid to go. I'm afraid Santa is still here."

It was then that I realized he was afraid. And why wouldn't he be? A big man--whom he doesn't know-- in a red costume being in his bedroom while he slept??? What was I thinking? I know my kids--they are afraid of every mascot they've ever met: The Wild Thing, The Parrot at the Pirates games, and don't even get me started on Steeley McBeam... So, I quickly amended my story to tell him that Santa sprinkled magic dust and the Spiderman appeared in his bed. I really drove it home that Santa in no way, shape, or form came into his bedroom. I hate lying to them-even about these kinds of things, so I'm not sure if he bought it since I'm not a very good liar. I'll remember for next year that all gifts go under the tree. Maybe I'll even tell him Santa FedExed all his gifts just to be safe.

I'm excited for the new year, but sad too. For starters, Rocco starts kindergarten next fall and that is just not sitting well with me. He asks me to tell him about what his first day of school will be like, so I go into great detail to talk about getting new school clothes and shoes, a new backpack and pencil box, packing a lunch filled with all his favorites, recess, how we'll all walk him down the road to the school building and help him hang up his backpack, meet his teacher and then find his seat...all the things I loved about my first day of school. By the end of this happy story, I am a mess. My boys say, "When school starts, are you gonna cry?" Yep. They know me too well. I always say," yes, I am going to cry." And Liam always tells me he will hug me and kiss me and make me feel better. Sweet little guy. =) Unfortunately, that just makes me cry more. we go into 2010. I have high hopes, though. Mostly that I will keep it together--this crazy thing we call our life. I hope to take better care of my family, my friends, and myself. I hope to be so much better about reading the Bible, and in being real. I need to count my blessings more often than I count my problems. It would be nice just once to be kept awake at night by thinking about all of my blessings instead of those monkeys on my back.

To all my friends and family, I say thank you for letting us share in your lives this past year and I hope we can continue to into the new year!

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